Marriage

I haven't felt like writing much lately :(  Have wanted to blog but then wasn't really sure what to blog about, so until I allow my creativity to kick back in, I just wanted to stop by with a quick note today about something that has been on my mind a lot lately...MARRIAGE...and honestly, I am not even going to give you MY run down on what I think about it, just two awesome resources today that God put in my path, I feel, to help encourage others.

First is Candace Cameron Bure's (yes, that is DJ Tanner from Full House!), roomag.com.  This site posts some excellent articles on every subject from motherhood to marriage and everything in between. Todays article is by a woman named Jennifer Smith and it is called "Praying for Your Husband."  I am a big fan of praying for my husband.  "Of course you are!" You might think, "Your husband is in the Middle East!".  However, the fact that he is a soldier is only PART of the reason I pray for him. I pray for him first and foremost because he is a husband, a father to our children.  Someday I will share with those of you who do not already know how prayer not only changed our marriage, but SAVED our marriage way back in the day.

My previous blog mentioned Ann VosKamp and I check out her blog daily ( aholyexperience.com ).  I fell in love with a quote from yesterdays entry on her site, "So she made the bed and and she made his favorite omelet and service isn’t about being a doormat but about being a door for joy to walk through." I read this and I wondered....how many of us wives are afraid of being a doormat?  So afraid that we do not allow God to do the work in us He would like to do?  I copied and pasted this quote and sent it to my Soldier.  I told him that I will always make the bed, I will always make his favorite meals and I pray our door is always one of joy for him to walk through. And I can say that with 100 % assurance that I will never worry about him treating me as a doormat.  Its a funny thing, what happens when you put others joy before your own without expecting anything in return.......

My Joy Dare

The greatest self-help book in the world.  That is what I call the Bible.  The answers to any problem are all there and I love to turn to it searching out answers for life lessons. Books are life changing.  I will never forget the day my friend Laurie Yarosh handed me Stormie Omartians book The Power of the Praying Wife.  My life was forever changed that day as I knew God was using those words to speak directly to me.  That day was long ago, and really, no other book has touched me so much or changed my life so much...until now.

I have recommended it to the ladies in our general bible study.  I have shouted praises at the ladies devotion I go to once a week..and I have watched as the words on the pages have helped me to enjoy every single day even more.  The book is called One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp.  I won't go into all of the details of it, because I would really hope you would look into it yourself.

For over a month now I have been writing down three things a day that I am grateful for, just sort of willy-nilly, out of the blue things.  Each tiny phrase that I write, each gratitude that I thank Him for does an amazing thing...it eases my soul.  And with that easement of my soul comes something else...near disappointment that I am only listing three things...because once you start to list gratitude, gratitude floods.

This year, I have decided to start with Ann Voskamps Joy Dare.  Todays dare is to list "3 Gifts Heard"....and see my mind is already flooded...only three?  Please forgive me while I list more than that!

1)  The happy laughter ringing in my husbands voice on a choppy skype connection.  When I am unable to see the smiling face, the laughter assures me that all is well in his war filled world.

2)  Praise from a loving sister-in-law that the eulogy I presented last week at the funeral of my beloved mother-in-law was indeed something that would have made Memere extremely proud.  Only the best for a mother-in-law who always loved, always supported, never interfered, and ALWAYS was grateful.

3) Bellowing laughter of togetherness of my children, for when one laughs, they both laugh, like twins, two peas in a pod, enjoying their last day of Christmas vacation.

4)...see, who can stop at 3......the ringing of the one hundred year old doorbell...an Army friend of my own soldier shows up out of the blue to make sure we are doing ok...a true sign of the life changing friendships my soldier has made since we moved to WV.

5) The buzz-buzz-buzz of my cell phone as yet another of my soldiers friends calls to check on us...this time, one of his oldest friends from his Cali days...Uncle Frankie, he checks on us regularly, like a long lost brother keeping track of the home front, albeit from the West Coast.

The Joy Dare...can I list 1000 things I am grateful for in 2013?  With our busy life, I may not be able to whittle out the time to post them here every day, but you can bet I will be somewhere writing or praying or possibly even shouting out my gratitude to an Almighty God who blesses every day without fail!

Happy 2013 to all of my friends out there!  May your year be full of gratitude :)

WWJD?

This year has been tremendously stressful for us. I fully realize we are not alone on this. Each and every day people endure stress to one degree or another, but with all we have had going on since the second week of January, I was starting to feel like I was losing all perspective on what is really important in life. There was even an instance last Friday where my husband looked at me and said , "I think I just saw your faith fly out the window." So, clearly, though I claim to have given my life to Christ, my flesh has taken over with worry, stress, and thoughts as to just how I can fix everything. I count on church every Sunday to help me recharge, refocus, fill in the gaps of all that I miss out on during the week as I try to maneuver this crazy world, forgetting most times that there is a guide who will guide me if only I will ALLOW Him to :) I had high expectations going into church service last evening, and I was not to be disappointed. This past weekend was an Army drill weekend. That means my husband does everything possible to get home by 6 pm on Sunday evenings to attend our church service. He doesn't always make it in time, but you can be sure he has done everything to be certain he has tried his best. Last evening I received the phone call that he was pretty sure he wasn't going to make it in time. He and the buddy that was riding with him had noticed a car broken down on the side of interstate 64 and had stopped to help someone in need. "I will try to make it in time, but it doesn't look likely." I wasn't disappointed, this was nothing new to me. When I say my husband is one of a kind, he NEVER drives by someone who needs help on the side of the road...NEVER. We will call it providence then, that Roger, our pastor, mentioned the importance of helping those in need during his sermon last night. He also spoke very frankly about how churches can get caught up in rules and committees when really, all church should be about is a relationship with Jesus Christ, not all of the other stuff. At one point Roger said, "If someone approached this church and needed $1000, we wouldn't run it past some committee or take weeks to decide while the person sat in need, we would just give them the $1000". Makes sense right? When it came time for Jesus to help people in need did he consult and deliberate and make sure it was ok to do so or did he just DO IT because he knew it was the right thing? Our culture has gotten a little caught up in "church" and possibly lost a bit of the true meaning of Christianity. The sermon ended, we sang one last song and did one last prayer. As our little group began to break and folks started talking and laughing, I noticed my husband walking down the aisle. Something was up, he was still in uniform (a true sign if you know him, he hates attention and never goes anywhere in uniform)...and just behind him walked a woman. All I could think of at first was "Those are the saddest looking eyes I have ever seen!" He quickly called the church back together and explained the situation. He and his buddy had stopped to help this woman on the side of the road, her car had completely broken down, she was lost and all she wanted in this whole wide world was to get back to her two daughters in Roanoke, VA. My husband, having obviously not heard the sermon at all said, "I thought there might be something we as a church could do here." Immediately our Pastor pulled out his wallet and five different phones began dialing tow trucks. In the end, another member of our church family offered to take her to Wal-Mart to wait for the tow truck driver. The woman could not stop crying, overwhelmed that she was receiving so much help from people she had never seen in her life. It was an incredible God moment and one I dearly needed to witness as I had been so worried about things that seem important to me but were really not. If I took a clue from my husband, took my mind off of our worries, helped other people and acted more Christ like, I would get to see more beautiful moments like the one we enjoyed as a church last night. I share this story not to brag on our church (though if you know me you know I do that quite often!), and not even to brag on my husband (though much to his attention hating embarrassment I also do quite often)...but to hopefully help make myself think little less about my worries and a little more about Christ. At one time the phrase "What would Jesus do?" became highly popular, almost to the point of being cliche...but last night our little church was able to witness not only what Jesus would do, but what God would have His church do as a whole. It was a blessing to witness and I couldn't help but share! Thanks for reading :)

God Outdoing Himself Again

We walked into an old country church last Sunday morning. It was only by "chance" that we were there. Two months ago, while my parents were visiting, I had taken them for a drive out in the country. We passed a beautiful old church that read "Pastor Charles Meadows" on the sign. Could it really be? I promised my parents that the next time they visited, we would head to that church on a Sunday morning to see if it was THE Charles Meadows.



When I was a little girl in Elkview, West Virginia, a two hour drive north of here, we used to go to a rather large country church. We stopped going around 1977 or so, but our Pastor was Rev. Charles Meadows. Fast forward to last Sunday. Mom, Dad, the kids and I got dressed up and headed out. They peeped around the corner at the older gentleman standing in the front of the church. Could it be him? Thirty-four years is a long time passing to try and determine whether or not you are looking at the same person.



While mom and dad tried to determine if they had the correct Charles Meadows, I said hello to my friend Chassie who attends church there, but didn't expect to see anyone else I knew, as we were in another county and I still find I don't know a lot of people around here. After talking to Chassie, I turned around only to bump right into Haus. Haus is a friend of mine and Rich's that we met probably our first month living here. A big country guy with a heart of gold, always laughing, and always concerned about "Richy" and whether or not he is going to be deployed again anytime soon. I will admit, it was a surprise seeing the bible in his hand, but I was happy to see him and enjoyed watching him sit with his wife near the back of the country church.



I walked up to the Pastor and said, "Excuse me, but are you the same Charles Meadows who was pastor at Mt.Pleasant Baptist Church in Elkview, WV?"



"Yes I am." he replied.



"Well, I am not sure if you remember Al and Lois Fields, but I am their daughter and they are sitting in the back row very anxious to see you."



"Boy, you sure look like your momma." he said, as he got up as hurriedly as his tired body would allow and headed towards the back of the church to greet my parents.



He went on to preach his sermon...a biblically sound one, but , to me, there was nothing that stood out, nothing that caught my heart or stirred the Holy Spirit inside of me. Just as the service was about to come to a close and Pastor Meadows was going to do the altar call, little Richy looked at me with those words every mother loves to hear, "Mom, I have to go to the bathroom."



"Really son?" I whispered, "Can you not just wait until Pastor is finished praying and then I will take you out there?"



Though he said yes, the wiggling of his legs told me otherwise. I decided I had two choices, take him and miss the final prayer, or leave this adorable little church with a yellow puddle as a sign of our visit.



We went out the front door and back into the side where the bathrooms were. Little Richy had not been in the bathroom for two seconds when I heard Pastor Meadows shout, and I mean SHOUT, "PRAISE THE LORD!!!!"



"Hurry up Richy, we are missing something!" I yelled into the bathroom.



Quickly, we came back into the front of the church only to see Haus standing at the altar next to Pastor, tears streaming down his face, as he has just accepted Christ as his Savior. His wife was dropping tears of joy and the smile could not have been wiped off of her face. Tears immediately ran down my face as it began to hit me what a huge blessing it was to witness this , when all I had thought I was doing was bringing my parents to see their old pastor.



Someone in the congregation spoke up and said something nice about the Pastor. Then someone else asked if anyone else had anything to say before they closed the service. The Pastor was crying so hard over Haus' coming to the Lord that he couldn't even speak at that point. Then, my dad stood up. No, let me rephrase that, my dad stood on the PEW in the back of that church, bible in hand, crying. Did I say crying? I have only seen my dad cry one time, ever...ever.



"It was 1968 and I lived in a small town," my dad began through his tears, "I lived in a little neighborhood next to a church. I would drive by that church and they would be tearing a side out to make it bigger and I would say, 'those people are nuts, this is a small town'. Later on they would be tearing out the other side of the building to make it bigger and I would say, 'someone in there is crazy, they do not realize what a small town this is and they are never going to get enough people in that church.' Then one day in 1969, I was at work and my wife called me. She said this man had knocked on our door and told her about the Lord. She wanted me to have what she had, but I wanted nothing to do with it. The next week, he came back and I was there. Right then and there he led me to the Lord and we joined that big church and found out exactly why they were doing so good. They were doing so good because this man right here was leading people to Christ, just like he led us, and if it weren't for him, we would never have been led to Christ when we were."



Well, you know there was not a dry eye in the entire church. I just stood there in complete amazement. A simple trip to a country church. I had just wanted to take my parents to see if there was any chance this was their old pastor and instead of it just being something we did, it turned out to be a huge day of blessing for everyone involved. It was one of the most beautiful days I can remember in quite a long time and I feel so blessed to have been there, seen my childhood Pastor, witnessed Haus as he stood there in the front of the church, and witnessed my own dad and his gratitude. In some way, it made me even more grateful for my own church family too (if that is possible). I thought of Kyra and Richy and how they will remember Roger, our Pastor now and how I pray they can grow up with him being the Pastor we go to every Sunday. I don't know, I thought of a lot of things, but mostly, all I could think was "Look at that, God has gone and outdone Himself again."

Love, Lack of time & What Matters Most

Six months! Wow where does the time go???? A person can get caught up in the holidays, then, of course, in my case, turn right around and suddenly become both mom and dad for a temporary time. Once that happens, who has time to write?

I don't mind though. Sometimes I think I am so proud of my husband I could just bust. And if I have to be mom and dad for twelve months so that he can go fight what needs to be fought, then I will gladly do it. I think we are doing okay too. We miss him for sure. I look back at past wars and wonder how on earth the women did it. How did they sit at home and wait for letters that may or may not have ever arrived in the mail box? Today, I wake up to a ringing computer. At the click of a button, that handsome face that I love so much is right in front of me on the screen and I am suddenly overcome with the peace of knowing he is safe for another day.

I know he would want me to be writing, but at the very least, at least I am seeing some fruits of previous writing jobs as Auntie Silly and the Crazy Cousins Day Parade has been published and is now available from Publish America. That is a pretty cool thing. But I go back to my husband. He is doing something that really matters. I have told him more than once that I am jealous. Do I want to be in the Army? No way. Do I want to go fight in a war where the enemy are terrorists who play dirty and hate my guts? Most certainly not. Yet, I find myself in a constant search to do something that matters.

Our children are seven and ten. Raising them matters. Keeping everything together here so that my husband can do something that matters....well, that matters too. If you are a wife of a soldier who may feel like you are doing nothing while the man you love so much is off in a strange country fighting...please know that what we do here matters. It may not seem huge to us, but there are people out there who actually look at us and think, "I could never do that." So I think our job is pretty huge too! May we do it to the best of our ability and to honor God and honor what it is our husbands are fighting for!

Busy Planting Seeds..but what kind of seeds?

Wow, is it really the second week of October already? We have been so busy, I sometimes wonder what on earth we would do if we both worked full time and how people do it when they DO work full time. It is so easy to get caught up in the day to day and not stop and think about what it is we can do minute by minute to change our lives, to change the lives of our children for the better.

One thing I try to do is to be the best person I can be, which I fully believe is one of the best things we can do for our kids. Granted, I fail miserably at this most days, but I am still forever trying. In September this involved trying to do the most I could do with my writing. Just knowing that I am doing some type of work toward obtaining a major life goal hopefully sets a good example for our kids. That being said, "Auntie Silly and the Crazy Cousins Day Parade" is now in pre-production at a publishing house in Maryland....YAHOO! And, I finished my first novel EVER! There is no promise that it will be published, only a lot of prayers, but still, I proved that I could do it, and have now started another one.

At the end of September, beginning of October, we went to South Carolina to watch our dear nephew graduate from boot camp. He is like a son to us, and there have been many times where I wished he was ours. I know boot camp must be so tough, and he has had a very difficult life. I was so afraid he wouldn't make it. Not only did he make it...he went to church. Yes, big deal right? He doesn't believe in God. But he went to church, and he wrote me a letter to tell me all about it. I don't know what kind of seeds were planted, but he told me more about it when we saw him. I am so proud of our nephew, I can't imagine how proud I will be of our own children as they go through life and accomplish major things like that. And I wonder what advantages our children will have by already believing in God?

This was on my mind so much these past weeks as I thought of our lives and the example Rich and I set for the kids. I know we try, but do we try hard enough? As God would have it, last month, a friend of mine from high school, Jason O. sent me a message on Facebook saying he thought I should read a book called Visionary Parenting Capture a God Sized Vision For Your Family by Dr. Rob Rienow. I bought it right away, but have had little time to read since the pipes burst last month on the kids side of the barn and they have had to sleep in our room while we wait for the floors and bathroom to be redone (a whole other blog! but even headaches like that can be fun if you look at it the right way!). I had some extra time at the dentist yesterday, so I sat in the waiting room and opened to the new chapter I was beginning.

The chapter is called "A Thousand Generations" and I couldn't believe it when I started reading. There on the page in front of me lay the biblical foundation for all those thoughts I have been having this past month about our little family. What we do today can bless our children, their children, and so on. WOW!!!! As a parent, do we need anything more than that to want to be the best parent possible? It also works in the opposite way. As Dr. Rienow states on page 23, this works both ways. "We do not like to think about it, but there are times when we sow sinful choices into our lives and the results appear a generation later. OUR CHILDREN AND OUR GRANDCHILDREN ARE THE ONES WHO MAY EAT THE FRUIT." I don't know about you, but this both scares me too death and gives me unlimited hope and inspiration to be the best person I can be.

Dr. Rienow says, "Will you catch a vision for the fact that God has created you not just so you will impact your children, not just so you will impact your grandchildren, but so that your faith and your legacy will result in God showing love to a thousand generations of your descendants?" So, maybe no matter how busy we are today, this week, or this month, we can spend some time each day taking our minds off of ourselves and instead, thinking of how our actions this very minute will impact our family for generations to come, thinking about how our children see every single decision we make, good or bad, and more importantly, every decision we make gets planted somewhere for them to reap later......I don't know about anyone else, but this makes me want to seriously contemplate what kind of seeds I want to plant!

Faith in Dairy Queen

This past Saturday, after a rousing 36 -12 win by our little Raiders, Rich told Richy we could go anywhere he wanted to go after supper. Well, that is pretty much a running joke in our house, because we all know that after dinner, there is only one place to go...Dairy Queen!!! Or as this military family secretly refers to it...Delta Quebec (okay, we are officially goofy now).

When we got inside, I noticed this really large family all deciding what to order. They allowed us to go ahead of them since they were all trying to decide what to get. That was my first signal that there was something different about this family. There were so many children, that four of them were already sitting down waiting patiently at the table, while three of them stood in line with their parents to place the order.

We purchased our ice cream and went and sat at our table. People watching is one of my favorite past times. Sometimes I think I could write a story about every person I meet in any given day. But as I watched this family, I was struck by how well behaved all of these kids were. They ranged in age from about two through 13 I would say. The oldest, a boy, was actually in line, giving his dad a hug. I thought to myself, "Now THERE is a secure child, willing, at that age to stand in the middle of a DQ and give his DAD a hug." It was a wonderful site to see.

Meanwhile, all the other children were taking up two tables, waiting patiently for their food to arrive. No one was arguing, no one was fighting, the older kids were playing with the two toddlers, keeping them occupied and calling them pet names like "Sissy". Half of the food was delivered. No one touched a bite.

It took some time for the rest of the food to be delivered. Still, no one in this quiet, loving, large family took a bite. Everyone smiled and chatted and just waited. As soon as the girl from DQ brought them the rest of their food, they all just looked at their parents and one of them spoke up...

"Who's night is it to pray tonight Dad?"

I thought I had seen it coming from a mile away. The love, the kindness, the smiles, the peacefulness that surrounded that family. I could tell they were grounded and it was with a warm heart that I left DQ knowing that family was grounded by faith.

I pray that my family can be like that family, even though there are only four of us. I pray that when we are at Delta Quebec or...well, actually that is about the only place we could be because we don't eat fast food so DQ is our one treat...well, anyway, when we are at where ever, I pray God's light can shine through us in that same manner. What a compliment to have strangers leave a restaurant and say to themselves, "Now THERE is a family of faith!".

I am a Writer Again!!!!

School began today with many, many mixed feelings for me. Part of me wishes they would want to home school again and we could do so many different things, not be stuck in the rut of someone else's idea of what they should learn. Part of me misses just having them here, with us, where they are supposed to be. Then, there is the other part!

I have been able to write today. It has been forever since I have been able to say that! I sent Auntie Silly off to yet another publisher (hey, the man who created Chicken Soup for the Soul was turned down 212 times before someone picked up his idea)....I followed the many leads I have found through Facebook friends (see Chuck, Facebook really does serve a purpose!). I found a novel writing contest for a publisher I had been wanting to write a novel for anyway, so we will see how that goes. Mr. Andersons novel will have to wait, but I will eventually work my way up to the level of writing he expects from me. I just want to test the waters right now. I have to submit this first novel by Sept 30th! Yikes! I already have an idea for another one though. Hopefully the wheels will keep turning far beyond day one.

That whole paragraph is about "I, I, I". So that is what I am saying about wishing I was still home schooling. At this age, my life is pretty much about my kids, and I really do feel guilty for shipping them off to public school, even though it is what they chose to do. I feel selfish, but let me remind myself again, it is what they wanted to do! I can't say that enough I guess to try and justify the fact that they are not here. All I can do is pray they have a beautiful year, pray that, if it is the Lord's will, my writing career will take off, at least to the point where I don't have to substitute the entire school year, but can stay home and write most of the time.

Well, I guess I should put my blog aside for now, I have a novel to write, and at three o'clock I become a mom again with my fabulous carpool duties (dropping one of at football practice), then getting to take my wonderful daughter grocery shopping with me! Maybe if I look at it in the right light & stop feeling guilty, I have the best of both worlds!

A Soldier's Wife

Only one man has asked me to marry him in my life...and it was NOT my husband! Bet you didn't see that coming! Rich and I just sort of evolved, and as we begin our 18th year together, it is easy to see how the marriage just happened. I did not need a big proposal from a mountain top (we were married on a mountain top if that counts!). Although he did hide a rather elegant engagement ring in a piece of chocolate cake at a restaurant in the South End of Boston one time. Of course, we were already married. If you know us, you know we do EVERYTHING backwards, and "by the book" is not a phrase we use too often (unless you are talking about the Bible, then we do at least TRY to be "by the book").

My thoughts were all over the board yesterday, but I noticed they kept coming back to Rich no matter what. It began with hearing someone talk about a proposal, which of course led me to the thought that began this blog. Then, I was reading about Jamey Johnson, who, in case you do not know, is the most fabulous country singer on the face of the earth. Rich was sweet enough to buy us tickets so we can go see him in a couple of weeks, not too much of a sacrifice for him, seeing as how he thinks the man is incredible as well, and Rich isn't even a huge country music fan like I am. I caught myself thinking, "How exciting it would be to be the wife of someone who could sing and travel like that." I did not mean an ounce of disrespect to my husband when I thought that, yet God quickly and clearly me showed me something.

He confirmed what I had always known deep down, but never really admitted to myself. Though Rich and I appear to be somewhat normal, everyday folks...bedtime for the kids...us following not long after...church on Sunday...dinner around the table EVERY night, no exceptions, kind of people, we are excitement freaks. Adrenaline freaks maybe, I am not sure. I guess I always thought it was just him (bungee jumping fool that he is), but yesterday, when I had that thought, it was as though God said, "You are married to a SOLDIER, you don't get any more exciting than that." And it is so true!

Should you hear in the near future that Rich is being deployed, (and I am not saying for sure that you will, I am just saying SHOULD you hear it), please don't ever feel bad for us. I know you have heard horror stories about deployments. People who are miserable left home alone with the kids. People who want to complain about their husbands, sons, boyfriends being taken away from them. I will let you in on a little secret. We are weird (okay, so that is no secret), and we like the whole process. It is exciting, it is honorable, it is what WE MAKE IT TO BE. I, for one, will NEVER complain about him being gone because it makes my heart swell with pride that he would sacrifice for the sake of this country. He actually does it for us, and so many people don't get that about soldiers. It is a fabulous roller coaster of an adventure for an excellent cause, and, when handled with just enough faith, it can be just that, not a horrible, bitter experience to spend 12 months complaining about. So God said to me, "Look how exciting your husbands job is!"

I know, I know, I know, as sure as I know Jesus himself, that I was just meant to be a military wife. There was a guy in junior high/high school that I was crazy about for years. Never would you have pictured him in the military, but apparently he has made it his career. The guy I mentioned in the beginning of this blog was an insurance appraiser. In all the time we were together, I never heard the word "military" come out of his mouth, yet he has served several tours of duty as a Marine. My husband did not re-enlist until he was 42 years old. He had never been in the military the entire time I had been with him. So, no matter who I had ended up with, I would have been a military wife, and I think it is beyond cool, it is EXCITING, fun, honorable, and it is what Rich and I make of it. We will make the best of it! So, if Afghanistan comes calling, don't feel bad for us. Be proud of Rich with me, know it takes a special kind of person to go fight in a war, and enjoy the ride with us instead!

The Rock and the Battering Wave

Sometimes there are things we have to deal with that just go on and on. Several people I love dearly and am at least fairly close to are going through a lot right now. People go through things all of the time, so really, it is no big deal. What strikes me is, everyone I know right now who is going through something is dealing with something they have been battling for, not years, but decades.

My heart is to help. When I look at it, I stand back in amazement and try not to judge. These things that have been going on for decades are the same behavior patterns over and over and over again. When I first heard that phrase "The definition of insanity is to do the same thing over and over again and expect different results", it really hit home. And that is what I see all around...a "weakness" for lack of a better word that keeps people doing the same thing over and over.

Then I begin to wonder how CAN I help? Can you help people who don't want a solution? Can you help even when you don't see any type of results at all? Reminds me a little of praying and seeing no results. You could pray for something for what seems like forever and not see any results. Does that mean you should not keep praying? I look around and just sigh and all of the repeated behaviors and think, maybe I SHOULD just give up trying to help in any way.

Sensing my frustration today, a dear friend led me to 1 Corinthians 15:58, "Therefore my dear brothers, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain." My application study bible explains this by saying, "Paul says that because of the resurrection, nothing we do is in vain. Sometimes we hesitate to do good because we don't see any results. But if we can maintain a heavenly perspective, we will understand that often we will not see the good that results from our efforts. If we truly believe that Christ has won the ultimate victory, that fact MUST affect the way we live right now. Don't let discouragement over an apparent lack of results keep you from working. Do the good that you have opportunity to do, knowing that your work will have eternal results."

Before I read this, my sense was to feel smothered by people who needed help, even though they were not asking for my help. To be tough and pick them up by their ears and shake them and say, "WAKE UP ALREADY!!! Why are you allowing Satan into your life to fill your head with such garbage after all these decades???" (Just so happens I am dealing with amazingly eerily situations between certain people right at this moment.) There is a line in one of my favorite movies "Legends of the Fall" that says, "Tristan was the rock that people crashed themselves against." And that is how I was starting to feel. I am not doing a very good job of explaining, lest this be taken as my saying I do not like to be there for people. It isn't that, because I DO love to be there for anyone and everyone. It is just that, after a while, if you are that rock, you really start to wear down from all the crashing waves after a while. That being said, I look back at all the "rocks" I have had in my life. People who were there to listen to me and pray for me over and over again. Wow! Talk about grateful!

Then you read something like 1 Corinthians 15:58 and you know that if, at this point in time in your life, you are blessed enough to be the rock, you have a little something in common with Jesus and you can't give up, because people could use your help, even if it seems like they do not hear you when you speak.

If anyone is out there reading, I want to challenge you this very day to be someones rock. Whether it be listening to someone with a problem, helping someone who is clearly in need, or my favorite, putting someones own emotional needs ahead of whatever it is we would like to do for ourselves. Is it possible to spend one entire day thinking of how our actions are affecting the lives of people around us? And if we do try that, are we putting others first, or always out for the quick, selfish fix that will make us happy? An example of this happened to me today..while talking to two "friends" about how to help a mutual acquaintance of ours. These two "friends" say they are Christians. When I proposed that we make a sacrifice to better serve our mutual friend, they said, "Oh no, we can't do that." Whether you believe in God or not, you truly do reap what you sow in this world and I, for one, would rather reap a garden of putting other people first and helping, then making sure my own needs are met, especially when they are frivilous.

We won't get to Heaven by the good work we do here on this Earth, but maybe, just maybe, if we don't give up on the people around us, even when their behavior patterns seem so insane you can't even fathom and it seems like all of your praying and all of your actions mean nothing...just maybe we can all learn from one another how to spend more time being rocks (hopefully without feeling battered) and less time being the waves doing the battering.

There's No Place Like Home

As I sit at my computer and watch two tractors mowing hay outside my window, a really awesome breeze blows through all of the open doors and windows. We have been home from Orlando for one hour. It was around 102 when we left Orlando and, like the majority of Orlando people I know, my parents NEVER have their doors and windows open. The air conditioner is usually on and even when it isn't, crime is getting so bad down there, they just never open their windows.

I remember the first time we pulled up to the barn with my real estate agent (& now friend) Kathy. After everyone showed us around & left, I cried so hard and thanked God for this beautiful place He had brought us to. I feel the same way now, as though viewing it again for the first time. We have been gone for ten days. I don't know if it was all the activity I crammed into those ten days, the fact that I am missing my husband so much, or just that I dislike Florida so much, but it seemed like ten weeks!

The activity part was awesome really. Not only did I get to spend some wonderful quality time with my mom and dad, but I got to briefly see one of my many sisters-in-law, spend an entire day with my newest Florida friend Virginia and her precious baby Katie, spend tons of time with my best friend Vicki, attend my 20 year reunion (a blog unto its own), and get reacquainted with one of my best friends from jr. high, Tammy. Okay, so there was no reacquainting involved. Since we are now sisters in Christ, it was as though we hadn't missed a day since 8th grade. So it was all really fun..did you hear a "but" in that sentence? Because I think I feel a "but" coming on....

BUT.......... I AM SOOOO GLAD TO BE HOME! There truly is no place like home. I could write all day. I am dying to put down my thought son the reunion, but since we ARE home, I guess the bags won't unpack themselves. Besides, I want to get started cleaning this place from top to bottom this week so that it looks TERRIFIC when my husband comes home. I can't wait to see him!

Mr. Anderson Says "Write a Novel"

I know I have mentioned my next door neighbor, Mr. Anderson, before. About three weeks ago, after he and my husband returned home from Bible study, he handed me an old French novel circa 1860 I believe. He said, "I want you to read this." Okay, I thought, here is this 85 year old man asking me to read a novel. I will say yes, even if is a form of mild torture like Shakespeare (as an English Lit major, I can call Shakespeare torture!). "Sure Bob", I replied, "I will read it."

"Wonderful," he smiled, "Then I want you to write your own novel with all the same characteristics."

"Huh?" Now I am quite certain I didn't say that out loud, however, I am certain that my look must have said the exact same thing. Instead I said, "What exactly do you mean?"

"Read the novel, study the theme. I want to see a novel set in contemporary America with the same themes as this book. I have read everything you have written to this point. I know you can do this." Wow, pretty confident of him considering none, not one piece, of my work has been fiction.

Though I still wanted to say "Huh?", my brain finally kicked in enough to realize that right in front of me sat a highly respected man in our community of great talent. An artist, a writer, and a beloved friend to my husband and I. I have already spoke of how I know God placed him five steps away from our barn for a purpose. Now I see even more of that purpose. He means to push me. Lord knows I need pushed.

Naturally he doesn't want me to use the same storyline. But this week I will go to his house and spend a great deal of time discussing what themes he wants to see in my novel. I finished the book and it was quite good, not even a mild form of torture. I know what themes I saw, I just want his take on it as well. I am thrilled to see that one of the main themes was hope and another kindness..two of my favorite topics!

I am a little out of sorts because I am going to have to get a job that fits around the kids school schedule. I guess I will have to turn into one of those writers who wants it so badly that she stays up to write all hours of the night after hubby and I put the kids to bed. (You are laughing right now if you know I am usually in bed by 8:30 with very little exception..in my defense I did find out today I am extremely anemic, like one step away from blood transfusion anemic, so that explains a lot, now maybe I won't be so tired since I will be taking 650 mg of iron per day) I thought God was going to provide a way for me to stay home and write full time. I guess I was wrong, but let me not go down that road or this post will turn into a big ol' pity party and a bit of my bitterness may shine through. I have not worked in 8 years..8 years this month actually. Wow! I can't even believe that as I type it. I just spent the last seven weeks daydreaming of how happy we would be as hubby worked his dream job and I stayed home and wrote full time! Time for plan B, which includes my working. "Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus."
Philippians 3:13,14 / KJV

At any rate, I won't let Mr. Anderson down..I think too much of him and so appreciate the faith he has in my "talent" (his words, not mine).

So, anyone have any clues on how to begin a novel? :) :) :)

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PS..On a completely different note, I am praying about teaching a ladies Bible study, so my dear sisters out there who always pray so faithfully for me, let me know what you think of ME teaching a Bible study and know, by both the novel and the Bible study leader thing, I am TOTALLY stepping out in faith in both areas. Maybe next hubby will start teaching his monthly Bible study as well! For now, all those guys want from us is for me to make the next men's bible study breakfast for 12 men. Yikes! I ADORE cooking, but breakfast is not my high point..any good casserole type breakfast recipes would be appreciated!

Quotes that Made Me Feel Better Today

" I discovered an astonishing truth: God is attracted to weakness. He can't resist those who humbly and honestly admit how desperately they need him. Our weakness, in fact, makes room for his power." ~ Jim Cymbala Pastor of Brooklyn Tabernacle Church

" It is not enough to begin to pray, nor to pray aright: nor is it enough to continue for a time to pray; but we must patiently, believingly continue in prayer, until we obtain an answer; and further, we have not only to continue in prayer unto the end, but we have also to believe that God does hear us and will answer our prayers. Most frequently we fail in not continuing in prayer until the blessing is obtained, and in not expecting the blessing." ~ George Muller

PS..Since I just finished changing the layout of my blog a bit, I thought I would fill you in. My husband took this picture. This is what we see when we step out of our front door and walk to the car every morning. Though, to be honest, usually there is a horse standing there and his name is...wait for it.....HAPPY :) How could we ever wake up sad with a view like this and a horse named Happy to look at? Somehow it hasn't helped much this weekend, but oh well, tomorrow is another day right? Love everyone & thank you for your prayers!

Nutrition for My Heart and Soul

I am taking a free nutrition class at the kids school once a week. Mainly, I liked that it was FREE (one of my favorite words) and because I soak up nutrition information like a sponge. I love to read and learn about new ways to eat healthy and improve, so I thought I would just join the class and see if I could learn anything new. The teacher is very sweet and kind and I have been able to get several very delicious recipes from the class, so it has been worth it for sure.

Last Thursday, she hit the exercise portion of the class. We exercise here in our house all of the time. Some days, my husband works out three times a day at the gym. Our kids have exercise class three times a week, outside of what they may be doing in gym class at school. And I make it a point to work out a minimum of twice a week, but usually I can get three or four good workouts in there. But the nutrition instructor wants us to wear pedometers all week long to see how many steps we walk each day.

For the year that my husband was in Iraq, and I was in FL where I could walk every single day, I DID wear a pedometer each day to make sure I walked a minimum of 16,000 steps per day. Once he came home and we moved here, I sort of fell out of the habit of it. Now, due to this project the nutrition teacher has us doing, I am back to wearing one again. I realized that, on average, my steps have dropped to 6,000 per day! That is about four miles per day less than I was walking while I was in FL. My goal was to have the best heart health possible. A side benefit was how peaceful and calm all that walking was for my soul.

I got to thinking about how that pedometer on my hip not only makes me constantly aware of how much I walk, but makes me want to walk even more, simply because I know it is there. That made me think of how much more I should be reading and studying Gods word. (Stick with me here, I will tie it all together :) Seriously though, if I became a better student of Gods word than I am now, and it was always in my heart, wouldn't I be more aware of it and more apt to use it on a regular basis? In turn, I would have an even healthier spiritual life than I do now, and what a wonderful thing that would be!

So, this morning, I clipped my walking pedometer to my hip and can't wait to watch how high that number goes today. Today will be the day I hit 16,000 again. But today I will also clip on my spiritual pedometer and spend a good amount of time in Gods word so that those words can be used as nutrition for my heart and soul as well!

The Gift of Super Heroes

The latest writing project I have is titled "Little Superhero" and it is supposed to be a story about how my little boy thinks he is a super hero. The funny thing is, I just found out about this project late last week, around the same time we found out that his health condition could be a little worse than just "Something he will grow out of.", as the doctor had originally told us.

So I got to thinking about so many angles for this story, and have yet to come up with one. Is he a super hero? Oh my! Have you ever met him? He is like the Super Hero of sweetness, kindness, intelligence and comedy rolled into one! When I say that everyone that meets him FALLS IN LOVE with him, that is not said from a mothers prideful standpoint, but is merely a fact that can be backed up by just about anyone!

As I thought about my story, I thought about how I must have just assumed that, having a boy and a girl, like my parents did, they would both naturally always be as healthy as my brother and I were. There didn't seem to be any genetic diseases in our family. There aren't any that we know of in my husbands family. He is one of nine children, and though two did pass away either as an infant, or as a young child, neither of those causes were disease related.

I look at my little super hero, and he is always smiling, always laughing. Yesterday, when he put his money in the plate at church, he was so proud of himself! He just looked at me with that big goofy grin that involves his eyebrows getting raised all up just like his Daddy's do. He understands everything, even things you think would be too young for his six year old little mind. Last night, we watched National Treasure as a family and he was able to follow the whole story.

But I say all of that to say, how I pray he isn't really sick. How I pray that Alport Syndrome is just something that HAPPENS to match what he has going on, but in reality, he will grow out of his symptoms. I know that my little super hero is a gift from God and that he is really God's child to begin with. I pray that God knows exactly how grateful I am for the joy that my little super hero brings us every minute we are with him!

Holding On

One thing I know for certain is that God allows us all to go through trials. Never have I understood why He allows us to go through them, but I DO know that I have a strong desire to use any and all of my trials to help other people.

I have heard a lot about divorce lately. It seems to pop up a lot on Facebook. You hear people talk about how complicated marriage is, how they are fighting to get someone back, or how many times they have been married. I can't speak in generalities because every single situation is so different that you just do not know WHAT led a person to get divorced.

I have heard that getting divorced is a feeling worse than someone dying because they are "gone" but they are still there, just inaccessible in most cases. And I haven't BEEN there, so I don't know how to speak of it without sounding "preachy".

Any of you reading this that know me well enough, know the story of how my then 38 year old completely healthy husband almost died in 2000. You know about the weeks he spent on life support, and you know that there was never an explanation. Only the endless meetings with teams of doctors who knew not what to tell us, only to tell us to prepare for his death. And if you know me well enough, you know the hell that ensued, when , taken off life support he did indeed begin breathing on his own after all, even though the doctors thought that he couldn't. It was a miracle, no doubt about it. But what followed was a series of events I have been told numerous times I should write a book about.

We grappled with so much during those times. He continued to ask God why He had allowed him to go through that..what was the purpose and what was the major purpose for allowing him to live and not taking him right then and there? I had to learn to be his memory as we realized the loss of oxygen to his brain had caused him to forget things here and there from before. I spent weeks, probably months writing down events so that I could assure myself that at least I would remember them. To this day, I bet he doesn't even remember my doing that, his memory about the time is so clouded. And I began to deal with the anger that slowly crept up, week after week, month after month. It seemed he was mad at God, but there was no explanation as to why. And it took years to overcome. During those years, there were just as many people praying for our marriage as there had been praying for his life in 2000. During those years, we actually lost friends for not getting a divorce. But we knew we shouldn't. For me, it was not because someone told me I shouldn't. Not because I was afraid of how guilty I would feel if I did it. I simply knew I should not give up. It was as though the Holy Spirit continued to tell me of the abundance that was at the other end, if only I would just hold on and be faithful to all God had promised me.

And wouldn't you know it, He kept every single one of those promises! But it is even better than I imagined when I "heard" those promises from Him. I never thought that I could love this man even MORE than I did in 2000, but I do. I never thought I could respect him more, but he has earned even more respect in ways I never even saw coming. God took this marriage, this THING we could have given up on, and would not allow either of us to give up.

So I told someone recently, one of the things I look forward to about growing old is growing old with my husband. It is teaching my kids that, even when their Daddy and I were not the people we wanted the other one to be, we held on, we prayed, and we worked it out until God allowed us to be more like-minded with one another. We held on in faith..and by the grace of God, it worked!

Gratitude for His kindness

I never cease to be amazed at God's kindness, even when I am slacking. Well, maybe I shouldn't be so hard on myself. This is still sort of a "new" life for us. We have only been here for seven months. I am only just now getting used to the fact that I am no longer a homeschool mom, but a mom with some time on her hands..(with a husband who happens to be home 24/7, but that is a whole other blog!). So, the kids have been in school for five months and I have actually gotten some writing done.

Yet, I suddenly hit the brakes a few months ago, for no apparent reason, other than the fact that I allowed little things to get in my way. Yet still, even as I slacked, God sent approvals for writing jobs I had already sent in. I am going to be published again and hope and pray I never lose the excitement of waiting to see the books come in the mail..(March 10th, in case any of you are following that kind of stuff..A Cup of Comfort Devotional for Mothers and Daughters and it will include two devotions by yours truly about the beautiful lessons God uses my wonderful daughter to teach me everyday.)

He also sent Motivation to complete an article as a surprise for my dad. Dad retired a few months ago after 43 years with the same company. I decided to write an article for his hometown newspaper which he still reads every week, even though he has been gone for 28 years. That article had me puzzled! Do I write Dad's memories? I don't want to leave Mom out, do I include her memories? And what about MY memories? Then, a huge gift from God, I awoke one night to a voice in my head telling me exactly how to write the story! I wrote it the next day, and now, "Walton From a '63 Chevy" will appear in this weeks Times Record of Roane County, WV. WOOOOHOOOOO! I have hit the big time now!

Seriously, it isn't about hitting the big time. It used to be. I used to want to be an actress and a singer so bad I could taste it..because I wanted to hit the "big time". But now, it is only about doing something I love that I feel the Lord has put on my heart to do. I wouldn't last a day in the liberal world of "big time" anyway! I would probably end up not acting very Christ-like and telling someone off.

So anyway, maybe I haven't gotten into a productive writing "groove" just yet, but would you look at that? With just the smallest of efforts, the Lord has still shown me a bit of reward and I am so grateful!

Writing as Gods Plan

I am certain I never looked at this writing "thing" as a big plan that God had for my life. Until now. Maybe it is because my babies are in school and I have more time to write. Maybe it is simply because now is the time God planned for me to really wake up and realize what He wants me to do with my life. Whatever the reason, I am amazed and overwhelmed. In seventh grade I picked up my first journal. The 25 years since then have been quite some journey.

The blank page was something I could never leave untouched. It always called out to me to fill it. Back then, being young and having no relationship with God, I thought it was just a great place to vent my adolescent fears. And it was. I didn't really know how to pray, so I wrote, griped and complained my way through junior high.

In high school I was "lucky" enough to have an English teacher that sought to encourage my writing. I entered contests and won. Something I never would have done had she not told me she thought I could. Still, it was all luck to me, I had yet to understand someone else was in control! With college came great discouragement as two separate professors basically told me to give up on writing altogether. Begrudgingly, I went to my journal and wrote all about how I thought I should give up and find something practical to do with my life.

And I did. And, through what I thought was my own abilities, I was successful. But I wasn't writing. One day, probably eight years ago, my husband came home from work and threw a newspaper in front of me. It was an article about a local Massachusetts woman who had quit her corporate career to write books.

"This," he told me, "is what you need to do."

So I did. All the while thinking I was in control, and never once stopping to pray about my decision, I began writing books for children. Picture books filled my mind. I had such good intentions behind them, building family ties, character, and confidence in little children would be my goal. But the key was, that was MY goal. Several years went by, four in fact, and nothing ever happened with either one of the books. I was frustrated beyond belief. Part of that frustration led to a series of events in our lives that led me to the Lord. I won't say life was instantly easier, but life was instantly BETTER! Once I had this experience, this life changing, positive, wonderful relationship with God (the one He had so kindly waited all those years for), I wrote a story about my experience. It was immediately published! God is so good! Then, I wrote another article about how my faith had led me to be published and THAT article was published also...all because I was glorifying God.

Luckily for me, the growth process didn't stop that year that I was saved, nor did it stop any of the times I have been blessed enough to have my work published. As a writer, I find I am only now coming to some basic realizations. One is that this ability or love I have for writing is a gift from our Great Creator, and if I don't use it, I am wasting what He gave me. That beautiful lesson comes from Julia Camerons "An Artists Life". A tool that has helped me tremendously in realizing how God plays a role in my writing. Another thing I have learned through my constant quest to be a better writer is that William Blake also realized his artistic abilities came straight from the Holy Spirit. For reasons I can't explain, this motivates me even more.

I sat across a desk today from my next door neighbor Robert Anderson, an established artist and devout Christian in his own right, he expressed to me how I was meant to do this and how, just by the fact that I was in his library scouring his collection for every William Blake piece I could find, that I was already on the road to doing what I needed to do, to becoming who God wants me to be. The fact that I am living in a barn in the middle of the mountains, next door to a person with his artistic ability only further convinces me that this is the road God meant for me to be on.

Autumn Serenity

As I look around, I find it hard to believe I have been blessed so much as to be able to sit in a place like this and write. I am in the middle of a cleared out field, probably about seven glorious acres. Beyond the field, everywhere I look, trees are on fire with orange leaves blazing. Even further still the Blue Ridge Mountains are beginning to light up as well, in various shades of reds, yellows and orange.

Better still, I sit here in work out clothes..a short sleeve shirt and Capri pants, a feeling I can't get used to having come from Massachusetts. According to the computer, it was 38 degrees there this morning and will be a good 13 -15 degrees cooler for the next five days at least. How grateful I am that God put it on our hearts to move here. And not just for the weather but for many reasons. The pace...slower than a turtle waking up from a deep nights sleep. People may question that being a good thing, but coming from New England where I always sensed a need to be on the go, fighting to finish a never ending list of things to do, this is heaven.

The people...hard to believe, but they still give pedestrians the right of way, allow folks to pull out in traffic, and possibly the best part, people always give a considerate wave after the good deed has been done. Most times, I even find strangers driving down the road waving at me over their steering wheels, even though I have no idea who they are.

I can breath here. Maybe it is the trees, maybe it is the pace, or the people, but I have such great peace and the children are so filled with joy in this place. Not a day goes by when hubby doesn't look at something outside and say, "Look at the mountains this morning." or "Look at the deer." Often I get, "Honey, come see the way the fog is rolling in over the mountains this morning."

So, even though sitting here, the serenity fills every bone in my body like an optimist whose glass is half full, I know I must take the hike back to the renovated barn we call home, leaving this peacefulness for writing deadlines, job searches for hubby, dinner preparation, and real life. I must face the fact that as I sit here, the real world goes on, the economy is failing, elections continue and a good number of Americans continue to be fooled by evil and turn the good candidates into villains. I can't help but think if everyone could just take an hour to sit here among these open fields, fiery trees, and colorful mountains...if they could sit here listening to the cows, bulls, birds and crickets allowing themselves to wallow in the peacefulness of it all, praising our Lord for creating this place, the world just might be ok after all.

PUBLISHED WORK TO DATE

One main purpose of this blog is pretty much shameless self-promotion. But I guess if I am going to be a great writer, shameless self promotion might have to become one of my favorite new past times! That being said, check out the following books to view my work (if you haven't already!).

"His Forever: Real People Coming to Jesus" Adams Media
"All My Bad Habits I Learned From Grandpa" Thomas Nelson Publishing
"Life Savors" Tyndale Publishing

I have also written two yet to be published best selling childrens picture books:

"Ty-Ty Tries the Mountain"
and
"Auntie Silly and the Crazy Cousins Day Parade"