Only one man has asked me to marry him in my life...and it was NOT my husband! Bet you didn't see that coming! Rich and I just sort of evolved, and as we begin our 18th year together, it is easy to see how the marriage just happened. I did not need a big proposal from a mountain top (we were married on a mountain top if that counts!). Although he did hide a rather elegant engagement ring in a piece of chocolate cake at a restaurant in the South End of Boston one time. Of course, we were already married. If you know us, you know we do EVERYTHING backwards, and "by the book" is not a phrase we use too often (unless you are talking about the Bible, then we do at least TRY to be "by the book").
My thoughts were all over the board yesterday, but I noticed they kept coming back to Rich no matter what. It began with hearing someone talk about a proposal, which of course led me to the thought that began this blog. Then, I was reading about Jamey Johnson, who, in case you do not know, is the most fabulous country singer on the face of the earth. Rich was sweet enough to buy us tickets so we can go see him in a couple of weeks, not too much of a sacrifice for him, seeing as how he thinks the man is incredible as well, and Rich isn't even a huge country music fan like I am. I caught myself thinking, "How exciting it would be to be the wife of someone who could sing and travel like that." I did not mean an ounce of disrespect to my husband when I thought that, yet God quickly and clearly me showed me something.
He confirmed what I had always known deep down, but never really admitted to myself. Though Rich and I appear to be somewhat normal, everyday folks...bedtime for the kids...us following not long after...church on Sunday...dinner around the table EVERY night, no exceptions, kind of people, we are excitement freaks. Adrenaline freaks maybe, I am not sure. I guess I always thought it was just him (bungee jumping fool that he is), but yesterday, when I had that thought, it was as though God said, "You are married to a SOLDIER, you don't get any more exciting than that." And it is so true!
Should you hear in the near future that Rich is being deployed, (and I am not saying for sure that you will, I am just saying SHOULD you hear it), please don't ever feel bad for us. I know you have heard horror stories about deployments. People who are miserable left home alone with the kids. People who want to complain about their husbands, sons, boyfriends being taken away from them. I will let you in on a little secret. We are weird (okay, so that is no secret), and we like the whole process. It is exciting, it is honorable, it is what WE MAKE IT TO BE. I, for one, will NEVER complain about him being gone because it makes my heart swell with pride that he would sacrifice for the sake of this country. He actually does it for us, and so many people don't get that about soldiers. It is a fabulous roller coaster of an adventure for an excellent cause, and, when handled with just enough faith, it can be just that, not a horrible, bitter experience to spend 12 months complaining about. So God said to me, "Look how exciting your husbands job is!"
I know, I know, I know, as sure as I know Jesus himself, that I was just meant to be a military wife. There was a guy in junior high/high school that I was crazy about for years. Never would you have pictured him in the military, but apparently he has made it his career. The guy I mentioned in the beginning of this blog was an insurance appraiser. In all the time we were together, I never heard the word "military" come out of his mouth, yet he has served several tours of duty as a Marine. My husband did not re-enlist until he was 42 years old. He had never been in the military the entire time I had been with him. So, no matter who I had ended up with, I would have been a military wife, and I think it is beyond cool, it is EXCITING, fun, honorable, and it is what Rich and I make of it. We will make the best of it! So, if Afghanistan comes calling, don't feel bad for us. Be proud of Rich with me, know it takes a special kind of person to go fight in a war, and enjoy the ride with us instead!
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Saturday, July 11, 2009
The Rock and the Battering Wave
Sometimes there are things we have to deal with that just go on and on. Several people I love dearly and am at least fairly close to are going through a lot right now. People go through things all of the time, so really, it is no big deal. What strikes me is, everyone I know right now who is going through something is dealing with something they have been battling for, not years, but decades.
My heart is to help. When I look at it, I stand back in amazement and try not to judge. These things that have been going on for decades are the same behavior patterns over and over and over again. When I first heard that phrase "The definition of insanity is to do the same thing over and over again and expect different results", it really hit home. And that is what I see all around...a "weakness" for lack of a better word that keeps people doing the same thing over and over.
Then I begin to wonder how CAN I help? Can you help people who don't want a solution? Can you help even when you don't see any type of results at all? Reminds me a little of praying and seeing no results. You could pray for something for what seems like forever and not see any results. Does that mean you should not keep praying? I look around and just sigh and all of the repeated behaviors and think, maybe I SHOULD just give up trying to help in any way.
Sensing my frustration today, a dear friend led me to 1 Corinthians 15:58, "Therefore my dear brothers, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain." My application study bible explains this by saying, "Paul says that because of the resurrection, nothing we do is in vain. Sometimes we hesitate to do good because we don't see any results. But if we can maintain a heavenly perspective, we will understand that often we will not see the good that results from our efforts. If we truly believe that Christ has won the ultimate victory, that fact MUST affect the way we live right now. Don't let discouragement over an apparent lack of results keep you from working. Do the good that you have opportunity to do, knowing that your work will have eternal results."
Before I read this, my sense was to feel smothered by people who needed help, even though they were not asking for my help. To be tough and pick them up by their ears and shake them and say, "WAKE UP ALREADY!!! Why are you allowing Satan into your life to fill your head with such garbage after all these decades???" (Just so happens I am dealing with amazingly eerily situations between certain people right at this moment.) There is a line in one of my favorite movies "Legends of the Fall" that says, "Tristan was the rock that people crashed themselves against." And that is how I was starting to feel. I am not doing a very good job of explaining, lest this be taken as my saying I do not like to be there for people. It isn't that, because I DO love to be there for anyone and everyone. It is just that, after a while, if you are that rock, you really start to wear down from all the crashing waves after a while. That being said, I look back at all the "rocks" I have had in my life. People who were there to listen to me and pray for me over and over again. Wow! Talk about grateful!
Then you read something like 1 Corinthians 15:58 and you know that if, at this point in time in your life, you are blessed enough to be the rock, you have a little something in common with Jesus and you can't give up, because people could use your help, even if it seems like they do not hear you when you speak.
If anyone is out there reading, I want to challenge you this very day to be someones rock. Whether it be listening to someone with a problem, helping someone who is clearly in need, or my favorite, putting someones own emotional needs ahead of whatever it is we would like to do for ourselves. Is it possible to spend one entire day thinking of how our actions are affecting the lives of people around us? And if we do try that, are we putting others first, or always out for the quick, selfish fix that will make us happy? An example of this happened to me today..while talking to two "friends" about how to help a mutual acquaintance of ours. These two "friends" say they are Christians. When I proposed that we make a sacrifice to better serve our mutual friend, they said, "Oh no, we can't do that." Whether you believe in God or not, you truly do reap what you sow in this world and I, for one, would rather reap a garden of putting other people first and helping, then making sure my own needs are met, especially when they are frivilous.
We won't get to Heaven by the good work we do here on this Earth, but maybe, just maybe, if we don't give up on the people around us, even when their behavior patterns seem so insane you can't even fathom and it seems like all of your praying and all of your actions mean nothing...just maybe we can all learn from one another how to spend more time being rocks (hopefully without feeling battered) and less time being the waves doing the battering.
My heart is to help. When I look at it, I stand back in amazement and try not to judge. These things that have been going on for decades are the same behavior patterns over and over and over again. When I first heard that phrase "The definition of insanity is to do the same thing over and over again and expect different results", it really hit home. And that is what I see all around...a "weakness" for lack of a better word that keeps people doing the same thing over and over.
Then I begin to wonder how CAN I help? Can you help people who don't want a solution? Can you help even when you don't see any type of results at all? Reminds me a little of praying and seeing no results. You could pray for something for what seems like forever and not see any results. Does that mean you should not keep praying? I look around and just sigh and all of the repeated behaviors and think, maybe I SHOULD just give up trying to help in any way.
Sensing my frustration today, a dear friend led me to 1 Corinthians 15:58, "Therefore my dear brothers, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain." My application study bible explains this by saying, "Paul says that because of the resurrection, nothing we do is in vain. Sometimes we hesitate to do good because we don't see any results. But if we can maintain a heavenly perspective, we will understand that often we will not see the good that results from our efforts. If we truly believe that Christ has won the ultimate victory, that fact MUST affect the way we live right now. Don't let discouragement over an apparent lack of results keep you from working. Do the good that you have opportunity to do, knowing that your work will have eternal results."
Before I read this, my sense was to feel smothered by people who needed help, even though they were not asking for my help. To be tough and pick them up by their ears and shake them and say, "WAKE UP ALREADY!!! Why are you allowing Satan into your life to fill your head with such garbage after all these decades???" (Just so happens I am dealing with amazingly eerily situations between certain people right at this moment.) There is a line in one of my favorite movies "Legends of the Fall" that says, "Tristan was the rock that people crashed themselves against." And that is how I was starting to feel. I am not doing a very good job of explaining, lest this be taken as my saying I do not like to be there for people. It isn't that, because I DO love to be there for anyone and everyone. It is just that, after a while, if you are that rock, you really start to wear down from all the crashing waves after a while. That being said, I look back at all the "rocks" I have had in my life. People who were there to listen to me and pray for me over and over again. Wow! Talk about grateful!
Then you read something like 1 Corinthians 15:58 and you know that if, at this point in time in your life, you are blessed enough to be the rock, you have a little something in common with Jesus and you can't give up, because people could use your help, even if it seems like they do not hear you when you speak.
If anyone is out there reading, I want to challenge you this very day to be someones rock. Whether it be listening to someone with a problem, helping someone who is clearly in need, or my favorite, putting someones own emotional needs ahead of whatever it is we would like to do for ourselves. Is it possible to spend one entire day thinking of how our actions are affecting the lives of people around us? And if we do try that, are we putting others first, or always out for the quick, selfish fix that will make us happy? An example of this happened to me today..while talking to two "friends" about how to help a mutual acquaintance of ours. These two "friends" say they are Christians. When I proposed that we make a sacrifice to better serve our mutual friend, they said, "Oh no, we can't do that." Whether you believe in God or not, you truly do reap what you sow in this world and I, for one, would rather reap a garden of putting other people first and helping, then making sure my own needs are met, especially when they are frivilous.
We won't get to Heaven by the good work we do here on this Earth, but maybe, just maybe, if we don't give up on the people around us, even when their behavior patterns seem so insane you can't even fathom and it seems like all of your praying and all of your actions mean nothing...just maybe we can all learn from one another how to spend more time being rocks (hopefully without feeling battered) and less time being the waves doing the battering.
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